What is your Relationship with Your Legal Career?
I decided to go to law school, if I am honest, because of the prestige of the profession. I wanted to be a big shot. I wanted to make “big money.” I think at the root of it I wanted to impress my dad. He was old school. Work was a grind for him. He was a hard worker, but I never really saw him enjoy what he did. His attitude was you weren’t supposed to enjoy your work. That’s why it’s called work. The paycheck was always the focus. He didn’t have a college education, but his work ethic advanced his career. He started out loading trucks and driving a forklift. When he retired, he was the Director of Purchasing, Transportation and the Smelter of a company in South Mississippi. The other thing about him was that he never sought the job or promotion. He was fortunate in that others say the value he brought and invited him to move up. When he left that position, he thought he would be able to get something else. He knew he wouldn’t make as much, but he thought he could get something in middle management. I think he could have, but he chose a depressed area of Kentucky to look. Not enough options, and by that time, a college degree was a necessity.
I got my first legal job straight out of law school. To my parents, I was a big deal. I think to some of my extended family, I was either free legal advice, or now I was stuck up. I’ve been practicing now for 21 years, and there are members of my family who never contact me unless it’s for legal advice. These are people that, at one time, I was close to. One in particular, I have tried to reach out to, but he has really nothing to do with me unless he needs something. Thus, I’m used because I’m a lawyer. Where does that come from?!?
Then, there’s the awkwardness of being a young lawyer. You’ve got the degree but have no idea what you are doing. For me, that lasted at least the first year. Eventually, you get your feet under you, but it takes another nine years to really get confident with yourself. Constant second-guessing. That, coupled with the fact that we have to put on this persona like we have all the answers, or it will be interpreted as weakness. Lawyers have a hard time admitting that they are human. That they don’t always have the answer. What’s worse is everyone expects us to have the answers.
Fast forward about 10-15 years into the practice. You’re finally coming into your prime. Maybe you’ve got a good client base, advertising is going well, or you have become a trusted member of your firm. Then it gets....stale. It’s the same stuff everyday, whatever that stuff is. You find yourself in the same types of cases over and over. On the one hand, you KNOW what you are doing. On the other hand, it’s just boring. There’s nothing new, and the law is not an area for creativity. But you are barely into your forties. You’ve got a lot of working to do before retirement, so you grind it out. Maybe you change firms. Maybe you even go out on your own, but the cases stay the same.
In 10-15 more years, there’s not a scenario that you haven’t seen in your practice areas. Maybe you have looked at becoming a judge. Maybe you’ve tried it. Retirement seems like it’s a real thing on the horizon. What does that mean? Who are you if you aren’t practicing law anymore? It’s like that scene from Shawshank Redemption after Brooks is paroled and hangs himself. “These walls are funny. First, you hate them, then you get used to them. Enough time passes, you get, so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized.” -Red
We can become institutionalized to the law. I’ve seen too many older lawyers either die at their desk or just have no idea what to do with themselves when they retire. I’ve seen more than one attorney come back to the practice after retirement. Who are you outside of the law? What is your identity if not an attorney?
